Dare to be Bold & Soft

The magic carpet could get rocky here, so hold on tight…
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Isn’t it great to know that potential clients who still don’t know you made an exception to meet with you during the busy holiday season without any references whatsoever to get through? 

All I needed was my EQ. How was I so different from other companies convincing them we can help? All I had to do was listen to prospected clients and work on establishing a connection with them; after all, we all want someone who cares about us and our concerns. Establishing a connection and focusing on my prospects' needs, my foot got in the door and they became potential clients. I am thankful.

One particular client adopted a very aggressive approach trying to “break down my walls” (as he mentioned to me later after he confessed he did it on purpose to see how I would react). "How did he break down your walls" you might ask? 

He started the meeting saying things like, "Listen I am sick of training companies telling me they will do the best for us and selling us words. I don't want someone to sell me." He then continued to speak loudly, almost shouting for 1.5 hours. NONSTOP. It was challenging to listen to him speaking loudly for 1.5 hours within 4 cold-looking boring walls (I am claustrophobic)!

I was both very firm, calm, amazingly patient (even though I felt like walking out several times) and Empathetic with this client since I understood I had to show toughness and it was not personal; after all, he was the company’s consultant responsible for selecting the right training agency to support him in developing their staff. I wasn't entertaining his ways, yet I was adamant to push my EI to the limit to find his key.

He did not appear to want to hear how I could help develop his staff so I did not push on to tell him. I did a quick mind and body scan so that I grounded myself and focused on the facts and what he needs instead of getting offended at the tone, pitch of his voice and accusations.

After all, it was not personal; he was reflecting on his past experience. My only option was to show him what we can do in order to trust us (I was confident we could help).

I decided the way I was going to take was to create dissonance. It was tricky and risky but I had to show "toughness". I became firm with him, mirroring and matching his seriousness, Exercised Optimism and pulled out one of the 6 Seconds magical tools I had in my laptop case - the 6 Seconds Empathy Cards.  I thought, if he doesn't want someone to tell him, I'm going to show him!

I made sure I got his buy-in and his colleague’s before I proceeded with the EQ 'game'. He even asked me to participate; I accepted.

Once I successfully conducted the Empathy Card game, the client’s approach towards me dramatically softened and was touched by the game; we proceeded for the next hour in a regular give and take conversation. He proceeded on to invite me to their retail outlet during a high peak time in their business and also gave me priority passes to enjoy my visit another time.

I managed to prepare creative and impactful training outlines and a proposal that he was very happy with. He contacted me from Dubai for a while to update me on their company's progress. Not all persons can be handled in the same way. That's why, "No Way is the Way" and "Wisdom Lives Within."
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Recently, a new potential client reached out to me to simply become a friend, yet passionate as I am about training and sharing my new EQ revelations to the world, I showed interested in this potential friend, in his business, and in his way of conducting business. He expressed, "Maya, how on earth do you do it? How do you make me tell you things? The way you speak is incredible! You are pulling me in! It is like you are working magic! WOW!" 

​I responded, by saying that I am merely interested in how I could help, that I'd love to be of support, and if he was in awe about what I could do, imagine if I could introduce this same method to leverage his sales and customer service through the techniques I am using, maintain client interest and ultimately, loyalty. I proceeded, "You have the best brands, true, but imagine how you can make your clients and staff adore you. I can train you and your staff to create positive ripple-like effects...."

Moral: Navigating our Emotions and Increasing our Empathy around challenging clients or ones who approach you with the mere intention to chat can be crucial components to establishing and maintaining a connection.

If we let our emotions get the better of us when someone appears to discredit us, we would be unable to manage the situation well. Also being empathetic allows us to understand who we are dealing with, the other party's situation thereby approaching the other party in a way s/he understands, and can relate to. 
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Fish Don't Talk about Water. Sometimes we do need to create dissonance by utilizing a healthy balance of being Bold & Soft in order to be credible, exercise genuine humility, truly care and ultimately get back to business.