Navigating Depression to Optimism

In continuation to the case with my suicidal friend, I managed to take the process one step further, by Exercising Optimism and checking the potential solutions he could take thinking, 'what more could I do to support him?' 

I knew I had a role to guide him to balance out his emotions. If we look at the blue section of Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions above in Fig. 1, my friend was in a position of "grief" and I had to bring his emotions across to a level of "pensiveness" to reflect on his situation and be able to work his way through and find healthier solutions, hence Exercising Optimism.

Worthy to note, I made sure that my actions and words were in line with my Noble Goals. If my legacy is to help people grow and flourish, then judging another would not be my path.

In this critical life-or-death situation with someone dear potentially putting their life at risk, it was onerous to do the above, but I managed to do so practicing the EQ competencies. Primarily, honoring and Navigating my Emotions helped me shift my focus to the facts of the situation. 

Using the Think-Feel-Act method, I helped him recognize his attitude towards the situation and how it is not helping him solve his situation. After having gradually guided him through this process by recognizing his emotions, thoughts and behavior (The Process is the Content), I helped him use the EQ tool by acting as his human joystick ultimately with the intention to guide him to Navigate his Emotions.

This is a tricky situation since not everyone will be ready for change, and not everyone is capable of not sucking this negative energy in and facilitating it through and out. I wish I could say the process was smooth. It was anything but. It was rocky, heavy and required a whole lotta love and acceptance.

​Moreover, after having a compassionate and empathetic approach towards his situation, I managed to gain my friend's trust and he opened up about a terrible childhood trauma whereby he also attempted to kill himself by slitting his wrist. I asked him what triggered him to do the same at this point in time and he managed to connect the dots.

After then, I knew that he required professional help. I called a professional and asked my friend to see her. He did, and things have been improving since then.

I emphasize, had I not been compassionate, used the above approaches to ask questions and help bring his attention to emotional data and facts guiding him through the process: Think-Feel-Act, my friend might have been unable to calm down and reconnect with the 'saner' part of his mind.

He also would not have opened up about his childhood trauma and I might have been unable to help him take it further. Moreover, should I have not purposefully increased my Empathy, I might have fallen into the trap of judging him for his potentially destructive solution, which he perceived as the best solution in his moment of angst.

I also knew where my limitations lay. Difficult as it is hearing a dear friend say they will commit suicide, I still managed to use EQ methods to calm him down, get him to reconnect to his senses and become aware that he needs to do something to improve his situation.

Through EQ, I managed to help him see light in a barren land.

Moral: EQ helped me balance a tough personal life & death challenge and point someone dear to a professional who can take it from there. Practicing EQ above also helped me connect to a dear friend through love and support without judgment.

Consequently, I guided him to a therapist who could follow through with him closely.